Episode 045: Singing Me a Happy Birthday
- 6 days ago
- 2 min read
I get to celebrate my birthday with others only every few years. On this particular birthday, two or three years ago, I was enjoying a conversation with some young people who wanted to sing me a song. I turned on the camera in the last few minutes to capture the moment. At the end, I mentioned being from a large family of 16 kids and the eventual loneliness as you age and people stop celebrating with you. It's like the years we spent together as children were tainted by the aftermath of our "Dad" going to prison. When your own family stops attending your events and you're too busy for theirs, a void fills your soul, like space expanding away from time. I don't always want to live in solitude, which is why I post these videos—to connect with something out there that recognizes me in the vastness. It’s not about seeking attention; it’s about connecting with others before my thoughts drift away. Solitude is comforting because your mind can wander freely without needing to please others. As a child, I often sought recognition from my family, feeling like I was always at the bottom when I wanted to share something. I have a video from my 25th birthday where I was disappointed that no one might come to the party I organized for myself. I've longed to be seen as someone worth celebrating or visiting. The biggest disconnect with my passengers is the feeling that others only check in to see if I'm still alive. It’s not sad, just a reality of being in a large family. I regret not calling my family on their birthdays, even the one everyone dislikes, lol. It’s heartbreaking to hear a family member feels alone, but I think resilience hardens into a protective shell against heartbreak. I've spent my life trying to understand my family, but in the past seven years, I've focused on letting go of old ties dragging me down. I cherish the moments I had with them, but their silence feels like a death I can't mourn. Hearing wishes from three strangers reminds me of the joy I can bring as a stranger to someone else. I can be a simple stranger having a conversation, just to show them they're seen. This is the purpose of Conversation Cab, a humble task I complete with each ride. Welcome, and I hope you enjoy the ride and conversation as much as I do.
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